A belief in a predestined future is a principle that I spasmodically subscribe to, but also one that I abhor.
I loathe it because I trust I am predestined to be a nonentity; nothing more than I am right now.
The torment lies within the fact that I dream, scrape, claw, strive, and labor to be more, to have more.
But I’m afraid I’m preordained to be naught.
Why do I continue to resist?
They don’t tolerate resistance.
I came into this world innocent, fervent, extremely inquisitive, enthusiastic, jubilant, and permeable.
This was all torn out of my soul. Not by a lone accoster, but many. They.
They let me know, in psychological, mystical, and physical methods, that life is painful, difficult, cunning, unforgiving, conniving, and scandalous.
They also enlightened me, through their actions and words, that I am worthless, and I will never amount to much, no matter how hard I try.
They assured me that this was okay, this was alright, because everyone has their station in life.
My station is struggling but getting nowhere.
My own plague is that I’ve been trying to escape my predestined future, like swimming against the current.
The current is relentless.
I am weary.
I surrender.
I loathe it because I trust I am predestined to be a nonentity; nothing more than I am right now.
The torment lies within the fact that I dream, scrape, claw, strive, and labor to be more, to have more.
But I’m afraid I’m preordained to be naught.
Why do I continue to resist?
They don’t tolerate resistance.
I came into this world innocent, fervent, extremely inquisitive, enthusiastic, jubilant, and permeable.
This was all torn out of my soul. Not by a lone accoster, but many. They.
They let me know, in psychological, mystical, and physical methods, that life is painful, difficult, cunning, unforgiving, conniving, and scandalous.
They also enlightened me, through their actions and words, that I am worthless, and I will never amount to much, no matter how hard I try.
They assured me that this was okay, this was alright, because everyone has their station in life.
My station is struggling but getting nowhere.
My own plague is that I’ve been trying to escape my predestined future, like swimming against the current.
The current is relentless.
I am weary.
I surrender.