BPD and Self Abuse/Injuring

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by difficulties with impulsive behaviors. One of these compulsion behaviors is self-injurious conducts, also known as self-harm or self-mutilation, are unfortunately common among individuals with BPD.
I’ve been engaging in self-injurious behaviors since I was a child. As a toddler I would beat myself on the head, bang my head against a wall, or scratch myself to the point of bleeding. This was due, in part, to my first sexually abusive encounter.

Me and my friend, Emmet, were playing on the corner of our street, 12th street, between 8th and 9th avenue, Brooklyn, 1973, we were both cresting on the age of 4 breaking into age 5. A man in a corner basement apartment beckoned Emmet and myself to come inside, with the potential boon of candy and toys. Emmet has full blown Autism; myself, I am diagnosed with Asperger’s (on the Autism Spectrum). Emmet went with the man. I was hesitant. I have always relied on feelings since I was a child. Sometimes relying on feeling doesn’t pay off, but this time I know I was right.  I felt apprehensive about going with this man. But my friend succumbed. I remember thinking, I have to get Emmet! So, I jumped into the basement apartment. From there…I draw a blank.
I’ve blocked this memory. Possibly too painful. I’m unsure of what happened to me or my friend Emmet. Chances are we  were both abused, and that’s why I’ve blocked this from my conscious memory. (I’m currently working on bringing this forward so I can work on it).
This unaddressed abuse can lead to self-abusive behaviors. These comportments include but are not limited to:

1. *Cutting: This involves using a sharp object to make cuts on one's own skin.

This is my go-to. I’m not a fan of burning or punching myself. So, slicing my skin open seemed to be the act that I was pretty good at, absorbing, and performing. My body currently looks like a road map.
My body is covered in scars from a lifetime of cutting.
I was once ashamed of these scars. But now I wear them like a badge of honor. I cannot say I will never cut, or self-injure ever again, but I will do my very best, every day, to avoid situations that could lead me to cut of self-injure.

1. Burning: This involves intentionally burning oneself with hot objects or substances.
2. Biting or Hitting: Some individuals might resort to biting themselves or hitting themselves against objects.

1. Scratching or Pinching: These actions can cause physical pain and distress.

Scratching is often an easy way to deal with anxiety (not recommended) while you are out in public with no access to tools.

1. Interfering with Wound Healing: This includes actions like picking at scabs or wounds, which can prolong the healing process. I do still pick scabs and my wounds, and they do take a while to heal due to my interference.

* A good alternative is “Tapping”. Instead of cutting or bruising yourself, just gently tap until the anxiety is gone.

It's important to note that self-injurious behaviors are not limited to these methods, and individuals with BPD may engage in other forms of self-harm as well.

Why Do People with BPD Engage in Self-Harming Behaviors?

1. Emotion Regulation: Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense, overwhelming emotions. Engaging in self-harm can provide temporary relief from these emotions.
2. Communication of Distress: Some individuals may find it difficult to express their emotional pain verbally. Self-harm can serve as a way to communicate this pain to others.
3. Regaining a Sense of Control: BPD is often characterized by feelings of powerlessness and lack of control. Self-harm can provide a temporary sense of control over one's body and emotions.
4. Punishment or Self-Penance: Some individuals may feel a need to punish themselves for perceived wrongdoings or for feeling like a burden to others.

I’ve always cut or self-injured because the act itself would make me feel better. Whether it was because I felt I was “punished” enough or if a good amount of good feeling hormones were released from my brain, either way there came a point where enough was enough.
Not to sound creepy but often the smell of my own blood would satisfy my cutting/self-injurious behaviors. Once a pungent scent was achieved, I knew I was done.
Often when I cut, I was drunk, so the last few cuts and moments were always a blur. I never remember the actions the day after. But I did have to deal with the injuries and blood clean up.
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How to Support Someone with BPD and Self-Injuring Behaviors:

1. Encourage Professional Help: It's crucial that individuals struggling with BPD and self-harm seek professional help. Therapy, especially dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), has been shown to be effective for managing BPD.
2. Be Non-Judgmental: Avoid blaming or shaming the person for their behavior. Understand that self-harm is a coping mechanism, not a sign of weakness or attention-seeking.
3. Listen and Validate: Let the person know that you are there for them and that you acknowledge their pain. Validating their emotions can be incredibly powerful.
4. Help Develop Alternative Coping Strategies: Encourage the person to explore healthier ways to cope with their emotions. This could include activities like mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, journaling, or engaging in creative outlets.
5. Safety Plan: Work with the person and their mental health professional to create a safety plan for when they feel the urge to self-harm. This plan should include specific steps they can take to keep themselves safe.

You need a good support system to overcome this weight and shackles of self-abuse. Find someone who is in your corner and hold on to them!
Remember, supporting someone with BPD and self-injuring behaviors can be emotionally challenging. It's important to also seek support for yourself and consider involving mental health professionals if you're unsure how to best support the person.
If you have any questions or just want to chat, contact me. Do not hesitate.
 
~Will